I am the DOG!

So, I love Dog the Bounty Hunter, the show, not the man. He's a piece of work. So here's my recap of what happened on last night's episode, "Dog: The Family Speaks," detailing Dog's arrest for bounty hunting the Max Factor heir. Enjoy!


okay, so first of all: Dog had short, curly hair in 2003! It was shoulder-length. Have you ever watched Married With Children, and there was an episode where Al Bundy's barber died, so he had to go to a salon and was given a perm and had long hair? That was what Dog looked like. Let me know if you need a picture for reference--I will try and find on the web.

So, he was bounty hunting the Max Factor heir who drug-raped 86 women and had fled to Mexico after posting bail in Cali. According to Beth, they put 'all the company resources' into finding this guy--they had people in Bali, Australia, Europe, Mexico, etc. Dog got a tip he was in Mexico, so him, Leland, and Youngblood went down to Baja to try and find him. They got a tip he was in some bar, on the prowl, so Youngblood went in and confirmed. He came out and told Dog, with 'tears in his eyes,' that he was in there and looking for fresh meat. So they collared him, or whatever they do, and had him in their car to take him back to the US. Then the Mexican Federales pulled them over and arrested the Dog guys. The Max Factor guy spoke fluent Spanish and told the police he was someone else, and Dog heard him saying a different name, so Dog started saying Max's full name over and over until the police caught on and figured out that he was this fugitive on the run. I guess Dog was on the phone w/ Beth when the federales pulled them over, because she was all distraught. Of course, she was done up during this interview in a bright orange, T-back tank top, huge silver earrings, hair all in its glory, etc. Plus the camera had a soft lens on it, so she had the fuzzy look going for her, too.

Anyhoo, the Dog guys were in Mexican prison for a week, b/c bounty hunting is illegal in Mexico (tell Jesse Ventura--you can't hunt man in Mexico), then they posted bail and went home. Dog was saying he feared for his life in there b/c he's responsible for many of the criminals being locked up, etc. But he turned to little baby Jesus and was okay.

Fast forward to 2006. Apparently the arrest warrant for the Dog guys in Mexico expired after 3 years, so they were picked up of course within, like, a month of the expiration date, or whatever, so Beth's freaking out, crying hysterically, and the Dog camera crew is following her around the whole time. The Dog guys were put in the fed penitentary in Hawai'i, with the 'worst prisoners,' who were yelling at all of them they were going to kill them, etc. So Dog and Leland and Youngblood were all like, we can't go to jail because we won't come out alive. I guess they were in the Hawai'i jail for another week or so, and they were all put on probation, where they have to wear the ankle bracelets, but it's not house arrest--they have to be home from 11p-5a and w/in 150 feet of their in-home sensors or else their P.O. will be notified that they're in violation, etc. But you should've seen what Beth was wearing when they came and arrested Dog in 2006. It was yet another T-back Nike workout top and shorts. But her boobies were pouring out the sides, and the straps that come up and go behind her back--they were bisecting her boobies in half on the side, in addition to on the top of her bosom, so she had like six boobs at all times.

Is Leland half Mexican or something? He's always talking like some little homie.